Sometimes I think I want Johnny Depp. Then I realize I really just want Roux from Chocolat.
Sometimes I fancy Ncuti Gatwa. Then I realize what I really want is to watch him dance with his kilt on as Dr Who.
Sometimes I adore Matthew Goode. Then I realize I want the sexual tension & banter with Declan in Leap Year. For about ten minutes. After that it would probably be annoying.
At 66 what I really want is personal space. And not to have to please a man / mate. And all my memories of men past. And intelligent conversations about interesting people, places and things.
And maybe - just maybe - a fun, safe, flirtation free of drama. Maybe.
I think I might have found the theme song for my life. Miranda Lambert's Bluebird.
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