Saturday, April 29, 2023


 So...I fell in love this week. Not in love like romantic love. In love like there is someone out there who can make me laugh even through a bad time and for that I adore him.

His name is Ismo. He's from Finland. And I would want to go to Finland but he isn't there anymore. He is married and living in the USA.

You can find him on youtube and I suggest you do but make sure you are somewhere where you can laugh without inhibition and not be humiliated because you're going to - laugh without inhibition, I mean.

Recently right before I discovered Ismo, I experienced a couple of weeks of sadness & crying that generally follow something new coming to light regarding the sexual abuse I experienced when I was young. 60 years ago. And still there are things I have buried, apparently. 

It happens periodically. The last time I had an experience like this was more than 5 years ago. And I thought, this will be the last time. There can't be anything else hidden. 


There was something else hidden. And this time, I'm not even going to say that must be all there is. Because it might not be.

For me, the physical part was nothing. It's everything else that festers below the surface until it erupts like my own little volcano.

It's not my favorite thing to experience - that volcano erupting. 

My favorite experience is laughing.

And Ismo makes me laugh. If I had more freedom - I would treat him like people used to treat the Grateful Dead.

There were Deadheads. Now there could be at least one Ismo-ite.

He'd schedule a show. I'd camp in the parking lot of the venue. I wouldn't smoke pot, though. I'd drink a martini while I waited for show to start.

Then I'd go to the show & laugh & laugh & laugh!

Thank you Ismo!!!

Friday, April 14, 2023

New Words Make My Heart Sing

 I love it when I am happily reading a book and suddenly there's a word I don't recognize. If I were a dog or a cat I would be pouncing on it like a squeaky toy or a fake mouse.

Soignee: (the first e has ` over it) pronounced swan'ya - means dressed very elegantly; well groomed      My mother could be described as being soignee. I, of course, would be described as hippee (no ` over either e)

Sybarite: pronounced sibe uh rite - a person who is self-indulgent in their fondness for sensuous luxury           While I applaud this in theory decadence unsettles me, makes me uncomfortable.

Cynosure:  si na shur - the northern constellation Ursa Minor or the North Star; one that serves to direct or guide: a center of attraction or attention

Names describing a group of animals make me rub my hands with glee thinking - what can I do with that?

Flamboyance - a group of flamingos                                                                                                                 Jenny Crusie fans who read her first collaboration book with Bob Mayer - Agnes and the Hitman - know this fact: flamingos don't like to be alone. They cry pitifully. Bless their hearts.

Ferret is not a new word but I did learn - it comes from the Latin word furritus which means little thieves.

Business: a group of ferrets - isn't that just freaking delightful?

This is not a new word. It's a saying that is new to me:

"Say it with your chest" means speak your truth - don't dim your light to make others feel comfortable - say what you think and feel boldly - use your voice positively.

Of course, if we're gonna talk about hearts singing:

Wild Thing by the Troggs

Wednesday, April 12, 2023

Clarity: I Give Up


I’m rereading Kerry Greenwood’s series of Corinna Chapman books. And loving it as usual. 

Also making a realization – Greenwood, like most really good writers, does not rely on “the big misunderstanding”.

 You know, the situation where one person says something and another person misunderstands what is said and acts accordingly.

 This can happen in real life. But what happens even more in my real life is – one person, usually me, is not clear as to what the other person wants and that same person, again me, has no clue how to ask for clarity.

 So here I go back into the safe, comfortable space of the always reliable, usually clear spoken, fictional men in books.

 Like Corinna’s Daniel.

 Thanks for him, Kerry.