Tuesday, February 20, 2024

Chatty Kathy; Kristen Hampton, Lorelai Gilmore

The plan was, once my daughter headed upstairs for her procedure, I’d find my spot, set myself up comfortable with some coffee and write.

You know what Steven Wright says about plans. “You should plan to be spontaneous tomorrow.”

Of course, that’s irrelevant here and he’s crazy.

While I was getting myself set up – four people settled in at the table beside me. And one of them started talking. Non-stop. In an annoying voice. I looked over and thought, they’ve got scrubs on. They’re working. They won’t be there long.

To quote the narrator for Sponge Bob Square Pants: “2 years later…”

Okay not two years but forty-five minutes later, she was still talking. And the other three people at the table were alternating between nodding as if they were listening and doing something on their phones.

Chatty Kathy: “blah blah blah ice water, nurse, urinal cakes, call button, Jello”

Person to the left: nodding her head

Person to the right: typing on his phone

So, I moved.

My daughter had two procedures and they both went well. On the way home she said – it’s Tuesday. I wonder if Kristen Hampton has a new product testing video on Facebook.

And she did. This time she was testing microwave-able pork rinds. Things to know if you’re not a Kristen Hampton fan. 1 – You should be. She’s awesome. 2 – On Tuesday’s she tests new products in her car if she’s in town. Or in her golf cart type vehicle if she’s out and about on her farm. 3 – She’s funny. 4 – Sometimes on youtube.com she does a cooking show called White Trash Kitchen which is also funny.

This Tuesday she was in her car. I didn’t get how she did this because I was driving while listening, but somehow she snuck a microwave into the car that worked off of the cigarette lighter charger thing. Evidently it was her wife Terra’s because she was worried about Terra finding out before she got started and reclaiming it.

Which started her on a tangent about some 5000 people who unsubscribed to her page after her last product testing video because she referred to Terra as her wife and they got upset.

She does that. Goes off on tangents. She also talks non-stop.

Kristen Hampton: “Me and my grandpa when we were little, well when I was little, he was not little he was old, he was always old since I knew him, because I was born and he was already old, but we used to go get a Pepsi and pork skins and that was our little treat.”

Huh. When she does it, it doesn’t bother me. In fact, it’s amusing.

Which led me to thinking about the Queen of non-stop fast talking; Lorelai Gilmore.

If you aren’t a Gilmore Girls fan, I can’t help you. There is, in fact, no help for you.

As a demonstration of the awesomeness of Lorelai and her daughter Rory – if you’re a fan – travel down memory lane with me – if you’re not – go on youtube.com and find this scene afterwards.

Fans – you know what scene I mean. She is talking to Rory about writing a character reference letter for Luke and she tells Rory she can’t seem to get it written. Rory advises her to just sit down and put pen to paper and write it.

Lorelai tells Rory she tried that and it didn’t work. Rory asks why.

Lorelai Gilmore: “My brain is a wild jungle full of scary gibberish…bicycle, unitard, hockey puck, rattlesnake, monkey, monkey, underpants.”

Rory Gilmore: :”Hockey puck, rattlesnake, monkey, monkey, underpants?”

Lorelai Gilmore: :”Exactly that’s what I’m saying. It’s a big bag of weird in there.”

In conclusion, there are times when non-stop talking is annoying as fuck.

There are other times when it’s just plain funny.



No comments:

Post a Comment